Three-Step Driver Self-Improvement
Program
Road rage and aggressive
driving exist on a single behavior continuum. Aggressive driving is not
solely how someone operates a vehicle; it is also a mental state, a
readiness to interpret the acts of others in a hostile way and a desire
to respond in kind. In the mental state of aggressive driving we
impulsively take more risks and stay on the verge of angry exchanges
throughout the trip. At the extreme end of the aggressive driving
spectrum, road rage breaks out and assault and battery occur. Many are
surprised to learn that the majority of drivers experience intense
emotions in traffic that put them at risk of expressing road rage.
Research with hundreds of drivers led us to formulate a three-step
program to help drivers develop better emotional fitness on the road.
The first step (A) is to Acknowledge that every driver, including
you, needs traffic emotions education. The second step (W) is to act as
a Witness to your actual behavior while driving, systematically
observing your thoughts, feelings and actions to identify the type and
degree of aggressive driving and road rage you practice. The third step
(M) is to Modify the behaviors you want to change, one thing at a
time, continuing this process throughout your career as a driver. The
three-step program must be continuously recycled. There are thousands of
habits and skills to manage as a driver, including constantly developing
new ones. Each habit or skill must be separately acknowledged,
witnessed, and modified or improved.
The goal of
self-assessment is to identify problematic tendencies and habits that
either produce emotional rage in the self or provoke it in others. The
symptoms of road rage may be obvious to everyone except to the road
rager. Part of the problem of road rage is that though most feel it, few
admit it. The basis for an objective self-assessment is the ability to
see yourself as others see you. For instance, listen to yourself when
you tell driving stories. Which party is always blamed for a
collision--you or the other motorist? Who is denigrated? There's a
strong tendency to adopt a self-serving bias when we represent ourselves
as victimized drivers, so it's always the other motorist who started it
or is at fault. But what about our own contribution? A self-serving bias
clouds our understanding of why we get angry, so it can appear to
aggressors that they are the victims, while true victims are seen as
victimizers. This inverted view reflects a lack of objectivity and makes
for dramatic stories of retaliation.
The exercise in the
following section engages drivers in comparing their own estimation of
their driving skills with the perspectives of their passengers.
Exercise:
Assessing Myself as a
Driver
Step 1:
Think about your driving over the past few weeks. Make a list of your
best traits and another list of your worst traits as a driver.
Step 2:
Talk to people who have driven with you recently. Ask them to tell you
what they consider to be your best and worst qualities as a driver.
Record the passengers' comments exactly as they were intended without
re-interpreting, sugar-coating, exaggerating, etc. It's useful to repeat
this step with several passengers to get a variety of perspectives on
your driving personality.
|
My Best Driving Traits
According to My
Passenger |
My Worst Driving
Traits
According to My
Passenger |
|
1. |
1. |
|
2. |
2. |
|
3. |
3. |
|
4. |
4. |
|
5. |
5. |
|
6. |
6. |
|
etc. |
etc. |
Step 3:
Compare your lists of best and worst driving behavior with those of your
passenger(s). Identify the areas of the greatest difference in
perception. What are your worst traits according to your passenger(s)?
Developing emotional
intelligence as a driver begins by acknowledging that you need a better
understanding of the road rage syndrome. We're born into a car culture
where rushing, traffic congestion, noise, fumes and irate drivers are
the norm. Though our society loves cars, we don't necessarily love the
motorists who drive them. This older man's acknowledgment statement
reveals the common threads of discord among drivers:
I acknowledge that:
1.
I'm not in full control of my emotions all of the time. That is
dangerous.
2.
I harbor resentment against some drivers who tick me off. This is
not how I want to be.
3.
I become hostile when a passenger tells me what to do. This is
unfriendly.
4.
I don't mind threatening pedestrians with my vehicle if they're
too slow to move. This is illegal and uncivilized.
5.
I often fantasize I have a gun and I am spraying bullets. This is
inhuman.
6.
I often have violent impulses like running a car off the road.
This is horrific.
The act of acknowledging
is the most difficult step in changing undesirable habits. But, you
cannot change a single habit without first acknowledging that what
you're doing is not healthy and that you need to quit. Driving consists
of thousands of little habits that are candidates for change:
·
habits of
feeling a certain way when something happens--our traffic emotions and
attitudes
·
habits of
thinking a certain way about a certain event or person--our emotional
intelligence as a driver
·
habits of
operating the vehicle--our automatic habits of alertness and vehicle
manipulation.
These driving habits were
acquired subconsciously and are maintained without awareness. It's
typical to deny it when a terrified passenger complains that you're
taking great risks or that you made a mistake. Most people rate
themselves as an 8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point Driving Excellence Scale even
though in the same survey, 75 percent confess to aggressive driving such
as regularly swearing at others, habitual speeding, or changing lanes
without signaling.1 Since these behaviors do not contribute
to driving excellence, this is evidence of denial on a mass scale! In
addition, it is difficult to change ingrained driving habits established
and practiced since childhood. Nevertheless, change is feasible and
self-help programs often begin with this step: I acknowledge that I've
got a problem I need to fix.
It's absolutely essential
that formal acknowledgment be made in each of the three areas of the
driver's habits: emotions, thoughts, and overt actions. If you merely
focus on overt behavior (e.g., speeding, not signaling, tailgating), you
may be puzzled as to why it's so hard to follow through on good
resolutions. No matter how hard you try, you end up speeding, switching
lanes without signaling, circumventing road work barriers, or chasing
someone down. Why are you speeding, yelling, or not signaling? We need
to face the possibilities: Perhaps I'm impatient. Perhaps I'm driving
selfishly, not caring. Perhaps I'm being cynical, assuming everybody is
just out to get ahead. Perhaps I'm a vigilante at heart and enjoy
punishing wrongdoers. The point is that uncovering and acknowledging our
driver character traits provide the information necessary to begin to
implement successful self-directed changes.
Finally, acknowledging
cannot be accomplished by a general resolution such as "I promise to
improve" or "I should be more careful" or "I'm going to be less
aggressive." You need to be as specific as possible about which
particular attitude, intention, feeling, belief, words, or particular
act of the eyes, face, hands, foot, or mouth that you need to modify.
For example, "I will avoid looking directly at another driver when I
think the person is doing wrong." Systematic self-witnessing is
necessary to achieve the necessary level of specificity about one's
behaviors.
Witnessing or
self-witnessing follows acknowledging. Self-observation or
self-monitoring are equivalent terms for this step. Some overt acts of
motorists are visible and measurable by third parties or instruments:
·
Vehicle
speed
·
Following
distance
·
Blood
alcohol level (BAC level)
·
Running
through red
·
Crossing a
double line
·
Failure to
yield
·
Circumventing road work barriers
·
Insulting or
threatening gestures
·
Yelling
·
etc.
Some of the small
movements we perform while driving are not easily visible to others but
can be measured with sensing equipment:
·
Amount of
pressure applied to the brake pedal
·
How hard we
grip the steering wheel
·
How we
contract the abdomen under stress
·
Rate of
shallow breathing
·
Moving the
head due to pain
·
Slight
variations in how we maneuver around corners
·
Slight
variations in how fast we approach traffic signals or pedestrian
crossings
·
Mutterings
about traffic and drivers
·
Bobbing of
the head of a sleepy driver about to fall asleep at the wheel
·
etc.
But no measuring
instrument can detect what's going on in our thoughts and feelings, yet
they determine our overt actions. This crucial information is available
only through self-witnessing.
Self-witnessing is the act
of verbalizing thoughts and feelings during an activity in
order to create a play-by-play description of what's going on. In
other words, part of the self acts as a witness and thinks aloud what
the other part is doing, thinking, and feeling. Verbalizing out loud
what's in the mind makes it possible to capture material from thinking
and feeling operations and put this into long term memory so that one
can reflect on it later. The ability to observe and verbalize our
thoughts sets us apart from animals. Our awareness can be split into the
doer and the watcher, the thinker and the observer, or the actor and the
audience. Charles Cooley named this ability the "looking glass self,"
without which we lack the ability to change ourselves or manage our
growth.2
We encourage drivers to
tape record themselves while driving, to speak their thoughts aloud to
capture their natural stream of consciousness. The play-by-play must be
done from the perspective of a "driving-witness" whose job is to bring
out the events that are relevant to driving. The witness uses the
language of description that's appropriate to particular driving events
to gain self-knowledge:
·
What is my
mood or emotional state?
·
Where am I
looking?
·
What am I
noticing?
·
How do I
react to that?
·
What kinds
of things do I fantasize?
·
What do I
think or say to myself?
·
What do I
intend to do now?
·
Etc.
Actually, it's not
necessary to tape record yourself because merely pretending there is a
recorder works also. Objective driver awareness increases by the mere
act of verbalizing the thoughts and emotions behind the wheel, since it
allows you to 'listen in,' to be mentally online, as it were. When we
began our research about three decades ago, this kind of private or
inner information was not available in the professional literature on
driving behavior. "Retrospective reports" or questionnaires from
debriefing sessions after a trip were available, but recollections of
events are often inaccurate and distorted. Our self-witnessing research
was the first to produce information on the thoughts and emotions of
drivers behind the wheel.3
Self-witnessing reveals
your driving personality, the "automatic self" who actually does most of
the driving through the cluster of habits you acquired over the years.
One of the first things to notice is that the eyes, hands, and legs seem
to operate on their own. This is ordinarily good because there isn't
enough time to 'think things through' during many routine tasks in
driving. In a pack of cars traveling at 55 mph or more, with a distance
of one car length between them, you have a mere fraction of a second to
apply the brakes when the car ahead of you does. Your leg automatically
does the work in the split second that your eyes detect the red brake
lights ahead. The automatic driving self accomplishes a lot, but you
still have to remain alert. Your eyes can't safely wander off to fool
with a cellular phone or the tape deck. Safe driving is a combination of
automatic reflexes and alert monitoring of events.
Self-monitoring of these
micro-actions during driving is a proven method for identifying errors
in automatic habits and skills. Equally important is witnessing our
thinking and feeling behind the wheel. For most drivers mental acts of
road rage occur routinely, though they may be unaware of the frequency
and intensity before they systematically observe themselves in traffic.
To accomplish this, it's necessary to assume the role of an observer and
to act as a witness to yourself as a driver to find out how often you
entertain critical, judgmental or derogatory thoughts about other
drivers, passengers, cyclists, or pedestrians. Use a convenient way to
keep track, such as:
·
Thinking out
loud into a tape recorder or video camera while you drive
·
Putting a
coin or bead in a cup for each instance, or using a counter device
·
Having a
passenger count for you
·
Dictating
notes to a passenger
·
Making notes
in your Driving Diary or Log after arriving at the destination
After keeping track for a
few trips, listen to the recordings or review your notes and add up all
of the instances of negative feelings, thoughts and actions. This is
your "baseline list" or benchmark. As you continue to witness yourself
behind the wheel in future trips, compare the changes over time.
Sometimes merely becoming more aware of a specific behavior allows you
to modify it at will. But often this fails, so you need more powerful
methods.
Because emotions and
intentions precede overt driving acts and constrain them, it's important
to focus on your "inner driver" or the subconscious mind, to become
aware of these precipitating thoughts and feelings.
Examples of negative
events to witness:
·
Feeling
claustrophobic in traffic
·
Feeling
insecurity behind the wheel
·
Often
feeling rushed and time pressured, unable to drive calmly
·
Taking
excessive risks
·
Criticizing,
insulting, name-calling, denigrating or ridiculing others
·
Complaining,
feeling indignant, and disapproving of others
·
Feeling
happy about another's mishap or trouble
·
Hating the
road and feeling alienated from other drivers
·
Stressing
over police
·
Fantasizing
acts of violence or vengeance
·
Shouting,
gesturing, or shaking the head
·
Provoking,
threatening, retaliating, or punishing
·
Using the
vehicle to pressure, threaten, or attack
·
Etc.
Examples of positive
events to witness:
·
Enjoying the
idea and the feeling of showing kindness to another driver
·
Being ready
to return a favor or kindness
·
Feeling good
when someone waves thank you, feeling connected to the human family
·
Feeling
satisfied with precision driving (e.g., going around a turn being
careful not to roll over the double line)
·
Enjoying
facilitating the progress of all not just our own
·
Enjoying the
drive, despite the congestion
·
Driving
connected, feeling part of the traffic flow and the highway community
·
Feeling
appreciative when spotting a patrol car and viewing it as protection
·
Thinking
compassionate or forgiving thoughts about another driver's mistakes or
flaws
·
Feeling
responsible for everyone's safety
·
etc.
Objective self-assessment
is a skill that can be acquired with practice. The three behavior zones
to observe are emotions, thoughts, and actions. This checklist of
examples helps you focus on specific elements of your driving style, but
in order to be objective you must observe yourself actually performing
the actions, thinking the thoughts, and feeling the emotions. The
purpose of the checklist is to alert you to the areas of the driving
personality to be witnessed. The items represent common aggressive
behaviors from the self-witnessing reports of many drivers. Since they
are cultural norms, it's likely that we all have them to some extent.
Remember, it's one thing
to check items but it's critical to actually observe them as they happen
in driving. Experience proves that we can't wish these habits away with
resolutions or declarations. It's necessary to begin by consciously
observing them as they're happening. As a practical strategy,
select one or two items to observe on each trip. Don't try to take on
too many at once because you will be defeated. Use the checklist to mark
when you've observed each item. It helps to keep notes on the
circumstances during which the emotion, thought, or act occurred.
1.
____ Getting angry when forced to brake by another motorist
2.
____ Feeling insulted and furious when a driver revs the
engine in passing
3.
____ Feeling hostile when your progress is impeded by
congestion
4.
____ Being suspicious when a driver doesn't let you change
lanes
5.
____ Feeling justified in retaliating when another driver
insults you
6.
____ Enjoying thoughts of revenge and torture
7.
____ Enjoying the role of being mean behind the wheel
8.
____ Feeling satisfaction when expressing hostility against
other drivers
9.
____ Fantasizing racing other road warriors
10.
____ Enjoying stereotyping and ridiculing certain drivers
11.
____ Constantly feeling like rushing, even when you're not late
12.
____ Striving to get ahead of every car
13.
____ Being pleased when getting away with breaking traffic laws
14.
____ Enjoying the feeling of risk or danger when moving fast
15.
____ Other: _____________________________________________
16.
____ Other: _____________________________________________
1.
____ Justifying that it's all right to reject the law that every
lane change must be signaled
2.
____ Thinking that it's up to you to choose which stop signs
should be obeyed
3.
____ Thinking that there is no need for speed limits
4.
____ Being ignorant of safety rules and principles (e.g., who has
the right of way)
5.
____ Thinking that it's not necessary to figure out the route
before leaving, when it is
6.
____ Not leaving early enough, thinking you can make up time by
driving faster
7.
____ Thinking that some drivers are fools, air heads, rejects,
etc.
8.
____ Thinking that other drivers are out to get you
9.
____ Believing that passengers have fewer rights than drivers
10.
____ Thinking you can handle drinking and driving due to your
special ability to hold your liquor
11.
____ Thinking that you can use in-car communication systems
safely without having to train yourself
12.
____ Believing that pedestrians shouldn't have the right of way
when jaywalking
13.
____ Believing it's o.k. not to wear seat belts since you
probably won't need it
14.
____ Thinking it's best to get ahead of others even if you cause
them to slow down
15.
____ Other: _____________________________________________
16.
____ Other: _____________________________________________
1.
____ Not signaling when required by law
2.
____ Lane hopping to get ahead rather than going with the flow
3.
____ Following too close for the speed
4.
____ Gap-closing to prevent someone from entering your lane
5.
____ Turning right from the middle or left lane
6.
____ Blocking the passing lane, not moving over as soon as
possible
7.
____ Speeding faster than the flow of traffic
8.
____ Shining high beams to annoy a driver
9.
____ Honking to protest something, when it's not an emergency
10.
____ Gesturing insultingly at another driver
11.
____ Speeding up suddenly to make it through a yellow light
12.
____ Making rolling stops when a full stop is required
13.
____ Threatening pedestrians by approaching them fast
14.
____ Illegally parking in a marked handicap stall
15.
____ Parking or double parking where it's illegal
16.
____ Playing the radio loud enough to be heard by other drivers
17.
____ Taking a parking space unfairly or opportunistically
18.
____ Driving under the influence of alcohol or medication
19.
____ Bad mouthing other drivers when kids are in the vehicle
20.
____ Ignoring the comfort of passengers or verbally assaulting
them when they complain about your driving
21.
____ Failure to yield
22.
____ Other: _____________________________________________
23.
____ Other: _____________________________________________
There are some things that
don't change simply because you want them to. Modifying your driving
personality can be an overwhelming task unless it is broken into small
steps, working on one target behavior at a time. Permanently changing
lifelong driving habits requires systematically mapping your emotions,
thoughts, and deeds behind the wheel. Drivers are more successful in
their self-retraining efforts when they focus on one specific habit at a
time, for example:
·
Leaving home
15 minutes earlier than usual (actions)
·
Increasing
the following distance (actions)
·
Signaling
sooner before changing lanes (actions)
·
Driving less
frequently in the passing lanes (actions)
·
Reducing
cruising speed by 5 to 10 mph (actions)
·
Contradicting yourself each time you think that some drivers are fools,
air heads, etc. (thoughts)
·
Reinforcing
the idea that your passengers have their rights (thoughts)
·
Repeating to
yourself that pedestrians always have the right of way, even when
jaywalking (thoughts)
·
Contradicting your belief that it's o.k. not to wear seat belts because
you probably won't need it (thoughts)
·
Avoiding
getting angry when forced to brake by another motorist (emotions)
·
Avoiding
feeling hostile when your progress is impeded by congestion (emotions)
·
Avoiding
retaliation when another driver insults you (emotions)
·
Not letting
yourself enjoy thoughts of revenge and torture (emotions)
One young male driver drew
up a plan to modify five specific target behaviors, one per trip, then
recycled this strategy for as many weeks as necessary to automate the
new behaviors:
·
Mostly stay
in the right lane rather than the left (action)
·
Leave a
minimum of four car lengths when traveling in a fast moving pack, rather
than the usual two (action)
·
When you see
pedestrians, repeat to yourself they always have the right of way
(thoughts)
·
Avoid
looking at a driver who is mad or indignant, reminding yourself it's
best to stay out of fights (action and thoughts)
·
Not letting
myself slide into a bad mood when traffic gets congested (emotions)
The practice of witnessing
your actions, thoughts, and feelings while driving creates objective
self-knowledge. You become a spectator to your own driving personality
traits, seeing yourself as an impartial observer might see you. This is
objectivity. The driver above wrote at the start of his
self-modification project:
I find it hard to judge my
driving because I feel I'm a good driver. For the sake of objectivity,
I'm going to break the problem down into several categories such as
alertness, speed, safety, driving record, decisiveness, and interaction
style. After looking at all these areas, I'll be able to make a
prognosis about what I need to do to make my driving better.
Objective self-assessment
demands a detailed inventory of real life in real traffic, the kind of
person you actually are, your emotions, judgments, and actions, observed
over time, under a variety of road conditions. You can't rely on your
accident record, on your memory, on reputation, or on one or two quick
observations. At the start of his driving personality makeover program,
this driver considered himself to be a safe driver and named the
strategies he practices. At the same time he recognized that he had a
speeding problem. He was faced with having to reconcile these
conflicting beliefs about himself: "I'm a good driver" and "I'm a
speeder."
Overhauling automated and
subconscious driving habits is not only a smart thing to do, it gives
you a healthy sense of competence and self-confidence. The effort you
make in driver self-improvement will extend your effectiveness in other
daily situations in the workplace and the family. However, attempts to
modify unwanted behavior often encounter resistance.
Based on Chapter 6 of
Road Rage and Aggressive
Driving
See also:
Surveys and Tests of Aggressive Driving
See also:
Articles on Aggressive Driving, Road Rage, and
Other Topics
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